A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?” She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” “My goodness,” he says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
I’ve translated a popular Russian joke to English, wanna hear your reaction A young boy says to his father “Dad, our math teacher is asking to see you. “What happened?” The father asks. “Well, she asks me, ‘How much is 7 * 9?’ I answer ’63’ , then she asks, ‘And 9 * 7?’ so…
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists…
A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?“ The clerk replies, “That is a thermos. “The blonde then asks, “What does it do?” The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.“ The blonde says,…
A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife: Husband: “I lost my wife, she went shopping and hasn’t come back yet.” Inspector: “What is her height?” Husband: “I never checked.” Inspector: “Slim or healthy?” Husband: “Not slim, she can be healthy.” Inspector: “Colour of eyes.” Husband:…
H: “Hey!” W: “Hey honey. Are you there in the nightclub?” H: Yes… W: “Excellent! Two blocks away from you is the mall where I am now. I just noticed this stunning mink coat. It’s really very beautiful! Is it available for purchase? H: “How much is it?” W: “Just $1,500.” H: “All right, then,…
Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant. One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake. “What are you doing?!” he yells “My coat fell in!” his buddy yells back “You’re not really gonna wear that again are…