A private investigator may have outlined more than 20 possible signs that someone could be unfaithful, but many people say the same few behaviors kept showing up again and again in real relationships.
No matter where you stand on cheating, and even though experts have said there are other betrayals that can hurt just as much, there is no denying that cheating breaks trust, shows deep disrespect, causes lasting emotional pain, and can leave people struggling with self-worth long after the relationship ends.
On r/AskReddit, users came together to share personal stories of being cheated on, hoping their experiences might help others. Many responded to a question asking about the subtle sign that made them realize their partner was being unfaithful.
Out of hundreds of replies, three clear patterns stood out.
Putting more effort into their appearance
In a response that received more than 6,000 upvotes, one user kept their answer short and blunt: “His clothes.”
“He suddenly had sandals and button up shirts, that I’d tried to get him into for literal years.”
In a painful realization, the user continued: “I guess that means he did listen. All those things I told him he’d look good in, he started wearing as soon as he cared about looking good for someone else.”
“I would have cut holes over all the nipples in every new shirt I had bought for him,” a third user wrote, capturing the mix of humor and heartbreak many people expressed.
Obsession with their phone
Another common response focused on phone habits, with one user writing: “The sudden obsession with their phone and suddenly it’s always on silent.”
While some people pointed out that having a phone on silent can be normal, others explained that the issue is not the setting itself but the sudden change in behavior.
“I think the key there is consistency. If you normally have it on silent, no problemo. After months or years of having it on loud and a sudden change in phone loudness is suss,” a third user agreed.
Recent emojis changed on phone
A different user described noticing something unsettling when checking their partner’s phone: “The recent emojis on the keyboard of the phone were [heart] [broken heart] [lips] [couple] [biting lip]. They were not being sent to me..”
“Exact same happened to me! He was driving us to a friend’s BBQ and he asked me send a text, letting the friend know we were on the way. Went to add a smiley face and there they all were,” another person added, sharing an almost identical experience.
One user also cautioned people to stay grounded and “take in to account your partner’s personal friendships before you just see a kiss emoji and go ape st,” which many felt was a fair reminder.
Still, many people said these signs became impossible to dismiss once they looked back on their relationships with fresh eyes.
One user reflected: “I’m starting to clue in some stuff from my last relationship from a lot of these.”
If something ever feels off, it may be worth paying attention to that instinct, along with these three warning signs shared by people who have been through it themselves.
