A mother is expressing her thoughts after receiving strong reactions online for breastfeeding her 4-year-old daughter, which some have labeled as ‘inappropriate.’ Nevertheless, she believes there is nothing wrong with her actions.
34-year-old Shinnai Visser, a mother of two from Cape Town, South Africa, has been sharing her experiences as a mom on social media for quite some time. She openly discusses her parenting approach, which includes homeschooling, home births, and allowing her children to develop at their own pace.
However, these aspects of her parenting have not attracted significant criticism. Instead, the focus has been on her decision to breastfeed her 4-year-old daughter.
Many users have reacted to Shinnai Visser’s videos with surprise and even anger. Some claim that the child is too old to be breastfed, while others deem the situation inappropriate. Shinnai asserts that people are making judgments without understanding the complete context.
She explains that breastfeeding her 4-year-old is not a common practice. In an interview with People Magazine, she mentioned that it has evolved beyond just nourishment, serving as a source of comfort and connection.
“When I discovered that historically, humans breastfed for much longer than the current norm, it changed my perspective on extended breastfeeding being seen as odd. It’s not biologically abnormal — it’s just not the norm in our culture,” Shinnai Visser shared.
A mother who breastfeeds her 4-year-old daughter speaks out.
The mother elaborated that in various regions around the globe, children tend to breastfeed for longer periods than what is typical in Western societies. As a result, it might seem strange to some, even though it is perfectly normal in other cultures.
She mentioned that her younger child, still a toddler, breastfeeds more frequently, which she believes is natural for that developmental stage. For her 4-year-old, nursing mainly happens when the child seeks comfort, feels tired, or is experiencing a tough time.
“Some days she nurses once, while other times she might not ask for several days,” Visser noted, adding that at this point, “it’s very minimal and very intentional. It’s brief, calm, and guided by her.”
Despite facing significant criticism, Shinnai Visser expresses that she feels no shame.
She hopes that by sharing her experience, other parents will feel less judged for their different choices.
Ultimately, she emphasizes that parenting varies for each individual — and the most important thing is that children experience safety, love, and care.
A healthy balance between attachment and independence
Regarding the advantages of extended breastfeeding, Visser shared with People Magazine that she has observed “greater emotional regulation and a profound sense of security” in her 4-year-old. Additionally, she mentions that she notices a strong equilibrium between attachment and independence.
“Independence flourishes best from secure attachment, not through forced separation,” Visser explained. “Breastfeeding does not replace independence,” she adds. “It nurtures it by ensuring that emotional needs are fulfilled, rather than ignored.”
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