He was raised by his young mother, who was just 15 years old, and tragically lost her life in a case that left police baffled for many years.
This could have shattered him – yet, this star has forged a remarkable career in Hollywood and has even been recognized as one of TV’s “Ten Sexiest Men.”
A crucial witness to his mother’s murder
On October 26, 1961, in Waterbury, Connecticut, a future Hollywood heartthrob was born. His parents were teenage Catholics: Diane, an Italian-American at just 15, and Richard, an Irish-American aged 17. They named him Mark.
Unfortunately, his parents separated before Mark reached the age of two. By the time he was five, he had already experienced the loss of his mother. In February 1967, Diane was shot in the head, and although our star did not witness the shooting, he was a significant witness. Just moments before the gunfire erupted, Mark had been thrown out of the house by his mother’s boyfriend, a known gangster and heroin addict.
When police and paramedics arrived, they found Diane being carried out on a stretcher, her head heavily bandaged from the fatal gunshot wound. For many years, her death was officially classified as an accidental shooting, but recent revelations have uncovered shocking new information.
“I’m not pleased that all this happened to me, but I’ve learned from it,” he once remarked.
Following their mother’s murder, the future Hollywood star and his sister moved in with their maternal grandmother, Avis, in Waterbury, Connecticut. Waterbury was a challenging, working-class area, and he remembers that his family was among the few white families living there.
As a teenager, he often felt out of place and awkward, even making jokes about his “Dorothy Hamill hairdo.” To build his confidence, he began to imitate his acting idols, such as Marlon Brando and Humphrey Bogart, adopting their styles and mannerisms.
At the same time, his father was leading a completely different lifestyle, managing the West Fourth Street Saloon in Greenwich Village, New York City.
“Dad was basically a bachelor in his early twenties, just trying to figure things out,” the actor shared in an interview with Irish America. “It made more sense for my sister and me to stay with our grandmother instead of going with Dad.”
As a teenager, Mark frequently helped out in his father’s bar, serving drinks and breaking up fights. By that time, his dad, Richard, was known to the locals as “Mac” at the West 4th Street Saloon in Greenwich Village. Starting at the age of 13, he began spending more time with his father, initially as a busboy, then as a waiter, and eventually as a bartender.
“I was not big. I’ve been punched out many many times,” the actor shared with Movieline magazine in 2000.
For a period, Mark even lived with his dad, absorbing the sights, sounds, and characters of the bar, gaining firsthand experience about life behind the counter.
The actor recalls that he and his father had a brotherly bond rather than a typical father-son relationship, which made sense since his dad was only 17 years older than him. They enjoyed a lot of fun together — perhaps too much — filled with late nights, comings and goings, and older women.
Eventually, his father felt it was time for Dylan to have his own space. Shortly after, it was time for him to embark on a new chapter; his acting career.
His father’s third wife changed everything.
When Mark turned 15, he welcomed a new stepmother into his life. His father’s third wife, the renowned playwright Eve Ensler, would alter the trajectory of his career. She recognized something in her stepson that made her believe Mark had genuine potential as an actor.
When Eve suggested he pursue acting, it resonated with him. He remembered serving actors like John Belushi, William Hurt, and Ray Sharkey, who frequently visited the bar where he worked. Mark thought, “Wow, what a life.”
He informed his father that he was leaving the bar life behind.
“My old man was always supportive; he never questioned it,” he recalled. “He always believed in me, he just said, ‘Go ahead and do it.’
Mark quickly secured a role in one of his stepmother’s Off-Broadway plays. His father supported him financially through Fordham University, where he pursued acting.
He later became a member of the esteemed Neighborhood Playhouse, where he took part in various productions, including one alongside Joanne Woodward. His performance in Neil Simon’s play Biloxi Blues attracted the attention of a casting agent for Hamburger Hill, which marked the beginning of his professional journey.
The poignant story behind the name change
Throughout the years, Mark has frequently expressed admiration for his stepmother, highlighting the strong bond they shared — so strong, in fact, that she played a significant role in shaping not only his career but also the name he would ultimately adopt.
During this time, S.A.G. regulations necessitated that Mark alter his professional name. He selected Dylan, in part as a homage to the Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, but also due to a personal family narrative that left a profound impact.
“My father was expecting a child with my stepmother, and they intended to name him Dylan,” he shares. “However, there was a miscarriage, so the name eventually came to me.”
It was a name that emerged from both grief and affection, serving as a reminder of his strong bond with the woman who had influenced so much of his life. Since then, he has been known to the world as Dylan McDermott. Indeed, we are referring to the star of Law & Order: Organized Crime, who has established a remarkable career in Hollywood.
His credits feature significant works such as Olympus Has Fallen, American Horror Story, and Steel Magnolias. He also received a Golden Globe in 1999 for his performance in the TV drama The Practice.
Alongside Emmy nominations and a Golden Globe victory, Dylan has been acknowledged as one of TV’s “Ten Sexiest Men,” as stated by People magazine.
Wife and children
Regarding his personal life, the American Horror Story star wed actress Shiva Rose in 1995 after their chance meeting in a coffee shop, where he reportedly fell for her at first sight. Interestingly, Rose once shared with People magazine that when she initially spotted the “handsome actor,” she had no interest whatsoever.
However, once he began to speak, she discovered there was much more to him than just his looks—he was poetic and articulate, which captivated her.
The couple welcomed two children, Colette and Charlotte. Charlotte was born in 2005, while her elder sister Colette came into the world nine years earlier, in 1996. After 12 years of marriage, the Practice star initiated divorce proceedings in 2008, citing irreconcilable differences. Court records indicated that their marriage had been under strain for a while, with the couple having been separated for a year prior to the filing.
Dylan McDermott, a recovering alcoholic who has maintained his sobriety since 1984, eventually started a relationship with his Stalker co-star, Maggie Q. In 2017, the pair mentioned they were not rushing into a formal wedding. However, after being engaged for four years, they announced their separation in February 2019.
Despite Dylan McDermott’s successful career, he has always faced underlying struggles. The heartbreaking tale of his mother, Diane, has haunted him for many years.
Unraveling the mystery of his mother’s passing
Diane passed away on February 9, 1967, when Dylan was only five years old, and for a long time, the details surrounding her death remained unclear.
In 2011, while attending a fundraiser in Waterbury, Dylan met with Mayor Neil O’Leary and Police Superintendent Michael Gugliotti. He raised concerns about the cold case, leading investigators to find that many original documents had been lost or were missing, making it harder to reveal the truth.
Diane was right-handed, yet the gunshot wound that killed her was on the left side of her head. At the time, Diane was dating a low-level mobster named John Sponza, who allegedly had ties to law enforcement and might have acted as an informant, linking him to the case.
Evidence indicated that both Diane and young Dylan had experienced abuse at the hands of Sponza. Dylan “vividly recalls” multiple instances where Sponza threatened him with a gun, saying, “Shut up and get out of here,” as reported by Gugliotti.
Police Superintendent Michael Gugliotti was shocked by the level of abuse the family had suffered.
”Sponza [told] the police that night that he rarely, if ever, had arguments, yet everyone we spoke to, including Dylan, who was just five at the time, remembered very violent, vicious arguments,” Gugliotti stated.
Later autopsy records showed that the gun found near Diane’s body was too small to have inflicted the fatal injury.
Never encountered justice
The police later reclassified her death as a murder and determined that Sponza should have faced charges, not just for Diane’s death but also for two other unresolved homicides. Sponza never encountered justice; in 1972, his bullet-riddled body was discovered in the trunk of a car in Waltham, Massachusetts.
Dylan’s sister, Robin Herrera, was just seven months old when their mother passed away, so she doesn’t have the same vivid recollections of the tragedy.
She expressed, “I’m relieved to know my mother wasn’t mentally ill or depressed. Someone took her from us; she didn’t abandon us.”
Dylan himself has mostly kept his thoughts about the case private. He informed the police that he had buried the memories deep to survive and succeed in his career.
“He mentioned, ‘To survive and reach where I am today, I had to bury that moment in my life deep within myself,” Gugliotti recounted.
How it influenced him
For Dylan McDermott, the loss of his mother had a profound impact on him.
“When you lose a parent at a young age, it toughens you for life,” he stated in 2000. “I have fond memories of my mother. Losing a mother so early, that’s all you have.”
“There were whole segments of my childhood that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but for me as an artist, if I can channel those experiences in a positive, constructive way, if I can keep my mother’s memory alive in my work, then that’s a positive outcome,” Dylan shared.
I have always held Mr. McDermott in high regard, and I sincerely wish that the renewed inquiry into his mother’s passing has provided him with some sense of solace. It’s truly impressive that he persisted — and that he ended up being the one to reveal the truth. This is an issue the police should have addressed many years ago!
