These ideas have ranged from the once-popular but disproven belief that playing Mozart could boost a baby’s brainpower, to countless new methods that promise to help parents settle their little ones at bedtime, only to leave many feeling like they are trying every trick without much success.
But one piece of guidance that surfaced in recent years has drawn even more backlash and confusion than most.
The reaction grew after an Australian charity director stated back in 2018 that parents should ask their baby for consent before changing a diaper, a suggestion that quickly went viral and caused a lot of debate about what it even meant in practice.
One frustrated parent expressed this confusion on X, writing: “Either she has never wrestled a toddler during a change or worse, she just left hers in a sh*tty nappy until it was ready to consent.”
Dr Nicole Downs and Dr Katherine Bussey from Deakin University in Australia are encouraging families to treat these moments as a “normal, everyday part of life”, long before a child reaches the teenage years.
Instead, it is about using simple, day-to-day moments to help a child learn early lessons about personal boundaries, bodily autonomy, and respectful touch.
These ideas become important social skills later on, and starting early might help them develop more naturally.
“You can start teaching little ones about consent before they even talk,” the professors told The Conversation.
But the researchers say that moving too fast could mean missing moments that help babies become more aware of what is happening to their bodies.
“Nappy changes can easily be seen by parents as a task to rush through and just ‘get done’,” they said. “But this can be a time to help children learn about consent and how their bodies work.”
And if they manage to do that, how can they even tell whether their baby wants the change to continue or not?
These questions often come up because the entire idea seems difficult to imagine at first.
The scientists explained that the process is less about spoken words and more about noticing physical cues and simple reactions.
They shared this example to show how it works: “Get down to their level and say, ‘you need a nappy change’ and then pause so they can take this in. Then you can say, ‘do you want to walk/crawl with me to the change table, or would you like me to carry you?'”
These small reactions can give clues about whether the baby understands the moment and feels comfortable with what is going on.
The early learning specialists also suggested skipping singing, phone use, or other distractions during the change.
This makes it easier for the baby to stay focused on the experience and understand what is happening to their body, even in a simple way.
Even if they cannot speak yet, hearing those words can make the moment feel more predictable and respectful.
Rather than being some extreme new idea tied to an online trend, this advice is being shared for a much more serious reason.
The goal is to help children build language skills and confidence so they can speak up if they ever face a situation where they feel unsafe or are being harmed.
They emphasized that understanding touch and personal boundaries early on can make a difference in a child’s long-term awareness and communication skills.
They also acknowledged how challenging parenting can be, especially when caregivers feel pressured to do everything the “right” way every time.
They reminded parents not to stress if every diaper change does not feel calm or connected, since raising a young child is already a demanding job.
“So try and do them as often as possible and be kind to yourself if every nappy change isn’t a perfect moment of connection, you are supporting a small child after all.”
