As another school year approaches, it is an opportune time to prepare our children on how to be more inclusive as they meet new people and socialize with others.
It’s our role as parents to be the ones who will brief our little ones about the different kinds of people they can meet in and around their school, and how to deal with them, like teaching them how to interact with children with disabilities.
We may underestimate our hand in this, but you’ll be surprised that it makes a lot of impact when we are the ones who initiate the conversation about these topics. Case in point: skin color. For our preschoolers, they might be wondering why some of their classmates have different skin colors than theirs, and instead of letting other people talk to them about it, it’s better to hear it from us.
How to talk to your kids about skin color
In an article by Parent Circle, Nritijuna Naidu of Schools of Equality emphasized the importance of sensitizing our children about stereotypical images and issues of color at an early age. “We, as a society, pride ourselves on being liberal and tolerant. However, we often judge a person based on his or her skin color. As a result, our children learn from us and start discriminating based on how fair or dark a person is.”
As children learn how to categorize objects based on color, it is inevitable that they will use the same rule for people, prefering those who resemble them more. Here’s how some parents are teaching their kids on embracing their skin color.
1. Use positive affirmations.
Host and podcaster Bianca Gonzalez has always been proud and confident of her morena skin. In an interview with PEP.ph (Philippine Entertainment Portal), the mom of two shared how she’s teaching her daughters, Carmen, 8, and Lucia, 5, to do the same.
“I don’t think they know it at that age. Wala sila talagang care if kulot, straight, mataba, maliit, di ba? Kids are so pure, eh. So, for me, it’s more of that, just celebrating them,” she shared.
When Bianca turned 40 last year, she went on a barefaced photoshoot that was lauded by her friends and netizens.
“Parang, hindi ako nagfo-focus din masyado sa looks. But then, when someone comments on your skin, I actively say, ‘Oh, I love your skin.'”
It also helps that Carmen and Lucia’s friends are also confidently morenas, “Thankfully, yung best friend nila ng mga anak ko, morena din so it’s a match sila,” she said.
2. Educate your child through inspiration.
Mommy Robee Lynne “Rolly” Sagun, also known on social media as the MoREYNA Mom, has been actively sharing parenting tips on how to teach kids to be confident in their own skin color.
An active member of Smart Parenting Village and one of the new parent influencers of the Smart Parenting Squad, Mommy Rolly shared practical tips on how she teaches her two kids Gabo and Gammy, whom she lovingly called Kayumanggis, to be proudly moreno and morena.
“It involves showing them positive examples in social media and of course [reading] books. It’s important to praise their natural skin tone and talk about its beauty. Discussing differences and introducing them to role models who embrace their skin tone can also help. For my daughter, her idols are Ms. Ayn Bernos and Moana.
Bianca, meanwhile, once shared that her role models were Angel Aquino and Tweetie de Leon, who proudly flaunted their brown skin. “I looked up to them. I did not need to compare myself to fair skinned girls. It need not be a “battle” of maitim versus maputi.”
Mommy Rolly recommends the book, My Name Is Morena, by Ayn Bernos. Buy it on Shopee or Lazada. It follows the story of Morena, a fun-loving, sun-kissed girl who likes going to the beach and spending time outdoors.
3. Keep communication lines open.
Mommy Rolly added, it’s important to create a safe space for your child to talk to you about sensitive topics like skin color. “I always keep an open dialogue or create an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing skin color and any challenges they may face outside our home.”
“I always talk about skin color and boost their self-esteem by focusing on their talents, academic achievements, and character. Ito yung tinatawag kong positive reinforcement, yung you always encourage and praise your child’s natural skin tone. Emphasizing their beauty and uniqueness.”
4. Affirm your children on how they should see and view themselves.
For parent influencers Omni and Bryce Larrosa, they shared in another Smart Parenting article how they made their daughters Zela and Zia understand the concept of body positivity at an early age. “We cannot control what other people will do, but we can control they way we respond. Fortunately, yung mga anak namin, nasabihan namin about these things,” Omni said.
They believe that as parents, they should become the source of affirmation of their children, “Sa amin nanggagaling yung mga bagay na how they view themselves. Lalo na at the age of zero to 12, napakalaki ng influence ng information na makukuha nila, kaya gusto namin their foundation are built at that age. Sa lahat ng bagay, including how they see and view themselves.”
By initiating conversations about skin color and diversity, we can empower our children to appreciate and embrace differences. This not only nurtures their self-esteem, but more importantly, enables them to be mindful with their words and actions and more compassionate about the people around them.
