I’m Lisa, forty-two, and have been married to Jeff for twelve years. Jeff has an 18-year-old son with his first wife, and I have a 14-year-old child from a previous marriage. Jeff has fostered my son since he was two years old. His biological father had to travel frequently for work, thus he was mostly absent.
My son’s father died unexpectedly a week ago, leaving him a significant bequest that I will look for till he is 18. Jeff wants me to use some of that money to fund his own son’s college tuition because he hasn’t been doing well financially recently.
When I declined, he continued, “I treated your child as if he were my own; is this how you express your gratitude?” “I’m sorry, but you don’t deserve his money because you raised my son,” I replied. He remarked, “You will not be happy with the outcome!” after a minute of stillness, and I froze.
For the rest of the evening, we were silent. The following day, I noticed Jeff had a long list on the table. I was startled. From the time my child was two years old until now, he documented all of the expenses he had incurred, including clothing, excursions, and outings.
Jeff said, “Your kid is mine, there’s no difference,” even though my son’s father paid child support. However, he is now demanding that I refund every dime because he is upset with my rejection.
I believe this is ludicrous. Giving him a portion of my son’s legitimate inheritance feels like betraying him, even though I know he is heartbroken. Is it unfair to my spouse and his son that I refuse to pay for his college expenses?
