Would we click? I was about to meet the man whose child would grow in me

I belong from Austin, TX, with my spouse and our two kids, five and two years old. My journey toward becoming a surrogate actually started over ten years ago when I watched a close friend struggle with infertility.

Courtesy of Ashley Banks

After years of trying, I half-joked that I’d carry a baby for her if she ever needed me. That day never came, but it planted a seed in my heart. Finding out I was pregnant with my daughter caught me off guard, I’d been using birth control the whole time! Even though I was considered high-risk because of my weight and hypertension, my pregnancy went perfectly full-term.

Courtesy of Ashley Banks

At the time, I didn’t think I could ever be a surrogate since I was a size 24, which they say is too big for surrogates. But after my daughter was 14 months old, I had weight loss surgery, lost 130 pounds, and shortly after, I got pregnant with my son without any trouble. That’s when things changed. I realized how lucky I was fertile, healthy, no IVF, no pregnancy losses and how many women dream of what I had.

Courtesy of Ashley Banks

So, after my son was born, I reached out to surrogacy agencies and started learning more. I had to wait six months postpartum before applying, and even though I worried my medical history might disqualify me, it didn’t. I cried when I got approved, it suddenly became real. I waited until I stopped breastfeeding my son, then started medical appointments.

Courtesy of Ashley Banks

I told the agency I wanted to carry for a same-sex married couple because that’s where my heart was. I wanted my kids to grow up in a world where different family types are normal, where two dads raising a kid is just part of life. I got six profiles and picked three couples I felt connected to. One couple from DC had lost a baby with a previous surrogate, and I knew right away I wanted to help them. Surrogacy isn’t easy or quick, it’s expensive, emotional, and every baby is so wanted.

In October 2020, in the middle of the pandemic, I flew to DC with my husband. We met the dads for dinner, I was nervous! Would they like me? Would we click? But we hit it off immediately. I’d already started IVF meds, daily estrogen pills, and then injections to prepare my uterus. The embryo was transferred one day, and it was so tiny, you could only see it under a microscope, like a little poppy seed! I took pregnancy tests starting four days later, and the line got darker and darker.

Courtesy of Ashley Banks

Two blood tests confirmed I was pregnant, and I waited for the heartbeat it was perfect. The dads couldn’t attend appointments due to COVID, but we Face Timed every ultrasound. Seeing their faces light up watching their son grow was magical. I went on a family trip at 25 weeks pregnant, and they came to Austin right before the C-section.

My daughter loved the dads, she understood surrogacy and helped me through pregnancy, even reminding me not to eat too much sugar! Hospital policies allowed only one person in the OR, but because of our story, both dads and my husband were there for the birth. They got to hold their son immediately, and the moment was everything they dreamed of. I pumped breastmilk for three months and even got vaccinated during pregnancy to pass protection to the baby.

Andrew’s now seven months old and crawling. What challenged me the most were the daily shots at the start, a nerve issue in my hip, and juggling pregnancy alongside caring for my other children? But I never felt like he belonged to me, he was their baby, and I was just his home for nine months.

Following the birth, tears came easily as I deeply missed him. But we stayed in touch, and I even visited him in DC. The whole experience was beautiful and life-changing. Would I do it again? Absolutely, in a heartbeat. But I know my body is done after three C-sections.

Surrogacy isn’t about money or “renting” a womb, it’s about love and helping others build a family when it feels impossible. There are so many families waiting for surrogates. If you’re curious or want to learn more, don’t hesitate to message me on Instagram. Surrogacy is an intense experience filled with both hope and challenges, yet it remains an amazing blessings.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back To Top