Most people have woken up from a dream that left them rattled, sweating, and wondering what it all meant. According to psychologists, those dreams can often reveal more than we realize.Dreams sometimes wander into unexpected or uncomfortable territory, including sexual scenarios. You might find yourself in a dream hooking up with an ex, a friend, or even a co-worker. But just because your mind created that story while you slept doesn’t mean you secretly want it to happen in real life.
Still, it’s not unusual to feel unsettled when you wake up, especially if you’re in a committed relationship. Many people immediately feel guilty or even question themselves after these kinds of dreams.
But experts say these dreams aren’t usually cause for alarm. Deirdre Leigh Barrett, author of The Committee of Sleep, explains that there are often harmless explanations for why our minds create these scenarios.“Dreams just don’t observe those boundaries [that you’d follow in real life],” Barrett told Women’s Health Magazine.
And it turns out these dreams are far more common than people realize. A 2022 study by bedding company Amerisleep revealed that more than 20 percent of women had experienced dreams about cheating within the past year alone.
Dreams about cheating on your partner are ‘rarely about sex’ says one expertGetty Stock Images
If these dreams are bothering you or causing tension with your partner, Barrett suggests the first step is to define what “cheating” actually means to you personally.Was the dream about a one-off mistake, or did it feel like an ongoing affair? How did you feel during and after the dream? Those details matter when trying to unpack the emotions behind it.
Barrett adds that if something in your daily life gives you the same uneasy feeling as in the dream, it could point to a symbolic meaning. In some cases, your mind may be using the dream as a metaphor for being unfaithful to your own values or priorities.
“Cheating dreams are rarely about sex but are, more often, a brutally honest reflection of the dynamics within the relationship,” she emphasized.“Infidelity can be traumatic and very difficult to heal from. Even if it has been years or decades since the transgression, the emotional scar often remains. This includes the scar of guilt with the transgressor.”
Loewenberg also explained that if you dream about being the one cheated on, it may not be about physical betrayal at all. Instead, it can reflect feeling like a “third wheel” in your own relationship. As she described it: “It’s often something your partner is giving their time and attention to that causes you to feel left out and ‘cheated’ out of that time you want with them.”
