When it comes to sex, it’s easy to get caught up in ideas about what’s “normal” or what’s “supposed” to happen—like how often you should have sex or how long it should last. Although there’s no universal right answer and it varies greatly from person to person, recent findings suggest that the duration of sex might also vary between countries. This insight comes from a survey conducted by the adult dating site Saucy Dates, which gathered responses from 3,836 heterosexual individuals aged 18 to 50.
Before diving into the details, it’s important to note that the study focused solely on intercourse and the expectations surrounding it. Both men and women generally hoped for more than just a brief encounter between the sheets—or wherever they were having sex. When asked globally, “How long would you like sex to last?”, women answered an average of 25 minutes and 51 seconds, while men gave a nearly identical response of 25 minutes and 43 seconds. However, the survey revealed that reality often falls short of these expectations, with reported durations ranging anywhere from under a minute to a full hour.
That said, it raises the question: is there really a “right” length of time for sex? Ultimately, your sex life is personal, and there’s no standard duration that sex has to last. Some people prefer it short and sweet, while others enjoy spending hours in the bedroom—but longer doesn’t necessarily mean better quality. Sex should last however long feels right to you, whether that means intercourse, outercourse, or masturbation.
“We know sex offers many health and relationship benefits, and trying to determine how much is too little or too much isn’t helpful because there’s no magic number,” says Rachel Needle, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in West Palm Beach, Florida, speaking to Bustle. “It all depends on the individual. Instead of worrying about whether your sex life is ‘normal’ compared to others, focus on how satisfied you feel, enjoy your experience, and communicate openly with your partner about your desires and needs.”
Dr. Michael Krychman, MD, OB/GYN, sexual medicine specialist, and executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine, echoes Dr. Needle’s views. “There’s no right or wrong frequency or duration when it comes to sexual encounters,” Dr. Krychman tells Bustle. “Couples find a satisfying rhythm that works for them, which can change depending on life circumstances. For example, the arrival of a new baby might reduce how often couples have sex as they adjust. Stress, fatigue, work pressures, and even positive events like birthdays or holidays don’t always lead to increased sexual activity.”
That said, it’s still fascinating to learn about how others experience their sex lives. According to Saucy Dates’ survey, the international average duration of sex is about 15 minutes and 10 seconds.
Sex Life in the U.S
Survey participants from the U.S. showed greater endurance than those in other countries, averaging 17 minutes and 5 seconds. They also exceeded the international average across nearly all age groups.
Canada’s Stats
Canadians also surpassed the international average, with an average duration of 17 minutes flat, and they led all other countries up until the age of 28.
Insights from the UK
In terms of sexual performance, people in the UK tend to peak in their early 30s, averaging 16 minutes and 58 seconds, while at age 20, their duration is closer to the average.
Across Australia
Across all age groups surveyed, Australians exceeded the international average, particularly those aged 45 and older, who averaged 16 minutes and 34 seconds.
Indian Survey Results
Participants from India recorded an average duration slightly below the international norm across all age groups surveyed, at 15 minutes and 15 seconds. However, by age 50, their times closely align with the global average, according to Saucy Dates’ findings.
The prime age for performance? Generally, the 30s—though, of course, this varies from person to person. After all, sex knows no age limits.
Regarding other countries not mentioned above, the sample sizes weren’t large enough to establish reliable trends. “This study initially aimed to see if men tend to exaggerate their bedroom performance, but we were surprised to find that men’s reported times closely matched those of women—there doesn’t seem to be any bravado when it comes to duration,” David Minns, Founder of Saucy Dates, tells Bustle. “It was also intriguing to discover that both men and women share similar expectations. Plus, the way duration varies with age offers an interesting insight that might give younger generations something to look forward to!”
Sex Varies from Person to Person
Beyond the idea that longer sex doesn’t always mean better sex, it’s essential to recognize that everyone has their own definition of what sex actually is—likely as many definitions as there are sexual positions. “When considering duration, how do you define sex?” asks Dr. Needle. “Does it include kissing, touching, manual or oral stimulation, and other forms of physical intimacy? As long as you and your partner feel satisfied with the length of your sexual encounter, there’s no need to worry about the clock. If you’re not satisfied, open communication with your partner is key. And if you find it difficult to make those changes, consulting a sexuality therapist can be very helpful.”
Similarly, Dr. Krychman emphasizes that sexual frequency is unique to each individual and couple. “Frequency is a personal choice that should align with your partner’s desires,” he explains. “Differences in sexual desire and frequency are common but can usually be managed through compromise, communication, patience, and a good sense of humor. The length of sexual activity varies widely as well—some prefer quick, passionate encounters lasting only a few minutes, while others enjoy long, sensual tantric sessions. Many people enjoy a mix of both. There’s no right or wrong way to have sex—it’s all about expressing your desires, satisfying your passions, and maintaining open communication with your partner.”
In the end, there’s no universal answer to how long sex should last or what your sex life should look like. It’s entirely up to you and your partner—and that makes it a win-win for everyone involved.
