After Her Daughter’s Life-Changing Diagnosis, She Waited for Years to Talk with Her. Now Every Milestone Is a Celebration (Exclusive)

Ashley Lewis opens up to PEOPLE about raising a daughter with autism and sharing her family life on social media

When Ashley Lewis gave birth to her second daughter, Presley, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Her first daughter, Breah, had been a “wonderful oldest child,” she tells PEOPLE, instilling her with the confidence that she was ready for anything.

“You have your first kid and you’re like, ‘I can have 20,’ ” she says.

But roughly eight or nine months after Presley was born, Ashley started to notice that she was developing differently. When other kids were starting to pick up their food, Presley was still lagging behind. And eventually, Ashley’s mother-in-law quietly gave her a pamphlet suggesting that she should get Presley tested for autism. She was in first grade when she got diagnosed.

“You kind of have to process it,” Ashley recalls, a decade later. “Sometimes you have to mourn and grieve. But it did bring us peace because you can make a plan.”

Those early years were filled with “fear,” she tells PEOPLE. Their future was ripe with uncertainty: how long it would take Presley to hit certain milestones and what her future might look like as a neurodivergent teenager and adult. Meanwhile, Ashley would listen to other parents constantly fret over the speed at which their neurotypical children were developing.

“You’ll hear other parents talking who don’t have children on the spectrum, and they’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, my kid’s not walking yet,’ ” she says, her voice breaking. “And you’re like, I just want my kid to say ‘mom.’ I just want to hear my kid’s voice.”

Though she got there later than her peers, Presley started repeating phrases that she had heard around six, and by 12, she started voluntarily offering her voice. Though a milestone like that would be significant to any family, for the Lewises, it was even more special.

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“Every little step is a celebration,” says Ashley. “Every little baby milestone is a huge win, and we just go crazy in celebrating everything.”

Still, Ashley recognized that there were far too few resources for parents of children with autism — and when she got the chance to share everything she had learned through the experience, she couldn’t hold back.

Ashley — who has a combined following of 1.4 million across Instagram and TikTok — first got her start online by accident. Her family had just moved across the country, and though she had always shared family content on her private social media accounts, she decided on a whim to switch them to public.

Her first viral video, which she posted in 2022, sees Presley getting red braids for the first time. Fans — 1.9 million of them to be exact — immediately fell in love with her adorable sass and the way her face lit up after her hair transformation.

“It showed me this deep sense of needing community in the autism space,” says Ashley. “Whether they know someone with autism or not, people wanna see how families interact with their special needs child.”

In the years since, the constant support Ashley and her family have received online has kept her going. They consistently get DMs and comments sharing encouragement. She would look to families who are further along in the parenting process for advice, and in turn, newer families would flock to her page for suggestions.

Says Ashley: “I’m hoping that, even from social media, parent community groups can come from this and that topics are not so taboo anymore that we can discuss and find help for parents.”